Everything Changes
Jack: There you go! I can taste it! Oestrogen. Definitely oestrogen. Take the pill, flush it away, it enters the water cycle. Feminizes the fish. Goes all the way up into the sky then falls all the way back down onto me. Contraceptives in the rain. Love this planet. Still, at least I won't get pregnant. Never doing that again.
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Gwen: But those people, last night - the people in the car, who are they? What's Torchwood?
PC Andy: I dunno. Special Ops?
Gwen: Yeah, but what does that mean?
PC Andy:I'll bet you ten quid they're DNA specialists. It's all DNA these days. Like that CSI bollocks. CSI Cardiff, I'd like to see that. They'd be measuring the velocity of a kebab!
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Jack: Before we go any further, who the hell orders pizza under the name of "Torchwood"?
Owen: Er, yeah, that would be me. Sorry, I’m a twat.
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[Jack is showing Gwen the "invisible lift" which is made of the part of the sidewalk where the TARDIS (with it's dimensionally transcendental chameleon circuit) was parked when the Rift opened underneath it.]
Gwen: How does it work?
Jack: No idea. We know how to use it, not how it happens. But if I were to guess, I would say that there was once a dimensionally transcendental chameleon circuit placed right on this spot, which welded its perception properties to a spacial-temporal rift. But that sounds kinda ridiculous. "Invisible lift" has got more of a ring to it, don't you think?
Gwen: But hold on, if no one can see it when the lift's coming up, there's a great big bloody hole in the floor. Don't people fall in?
Jack: That is so Welsh.
Gwen: What is?
Jack: I show you something fantastic; you find fault.
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